Candidate vs. Candidate No. 4: Going to War


"We need to go to war with the country of Zambonia." "I am opposed to going to war with Zambonia."
"Zambonia is an evil country full of evil people that do evil things." "Zambonia is a good country full of good people that do good things."
"The leader of Zambonia is a vicious dictator who ass rapes puppies in his free time." "The leader of Zambonia is a man of conscience that works tirelessly for the people of his country."
"Zambonia is an enemy of our country and its people hate our way of life." "Zambonia is our friend who has supported our country in the past and will continue to do so in the future."
"The crimes of the Zambonian nation will go down in the annals of history as the worst nation ever." "Zambonia is a peace loving nation that loves peace, flowers, puppies, and goodness."
"The people of Zambonia are rapists, murders, pedophiles, and tax evaders." "I have demanded that my daughter marry a Zambonian man."
[Zambonian embassy. Telephone call to Candidate with multiple dollar signs.]
"I am opposed to the war in Zambonia." "Zambonia is an awful awful place and must be destroyed.

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Copyright Lawrence D. Weinberg 2004