Candidate vs. Candidate No. 3: The Primary

Party Candidate Eight Party Candidates
"We need to rally together and defeat Candidate because otherwise he will destroy the economy and then lead the world into the next apocalypse." "The real danger to the world is Candidate who could never defeat Candidate ."
"He would be the worst elected official ever."
"He's evil."
"Stop him."
"I would gladly stand and support any of my opponents in a contest against Candidate. He is the problem and we must work together and stop him." "Candidate is a liar."
"He's a drunk."
"He's too temperate."
"He ass rapes children."
"He's impotent."
"He's a necrophiliac."
"He too tall."
"Too short."
"Too fat."
"Too skinny."
[Primary Day.]
[Candidate Wins]
Candidate Candidate
"We need to rally together and defeat Candidate because otherwise he will destroy the economy and then lead the world into the next apocalypse." Candidate is a lying, temperate, drunk, who ass rapes children, is impotent and a necrophiliac, too tall, too short, too fat and too skinny."
[Election Day.]
[Candidate Wins]
Candidate Eight Party Candidates
"Oh no. Candidate is destroying the economy and brining about the apocalypse." "See we told you that Candidate couldn't win."
"It's all Candidate's fault."




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Copyright Lawrence D. Weinberg 2004